So You said yes! Once engaged you sometimes feel an overwhelming rush to get things rolling. You sometimes can’t stop the feeling either because you have been waiting for this day all your life or you just want to start a new chapter.
Lady I want to congratulate you, you are now a woman who was found by another. No longer that girl or female people knew you to be. You are now on a path of becoming one with your man. You said yes, because of a reason and keep Gods reply at the centre. As a christian its important for the yes to be backed with God’s revelation of your future together.
Why, because the journey will always produce the vision.
What you said Yes to..
When you said yes, you said yes to his love, you said yes to Him, yes to his history, yes to his character, yes to his weaknesses, yes to his mistakes, yes to his hurts, yes to his pains, yes to his strengths, yes to his successes, yes to everything you have and haven’t seen yet.
So we have some areas you have said to knowingly or unknowingly, one thing to remember is that God is on your side and not against you if he has revealed the vision you are both to birth.
You said yes because you love him, your ready to live with him, your ready to not follow your own plans in life, you see how you compliment each other’s skills, talents, gifting and calling in life. Your ready to be a help him in his vision and goals.
God is the one you need in the journey to walk through the things you said yes to. He alone will help you be that helpmate to him. Its not a time to depend on family and friends to give you insight on details. You have a Father who has been with your man all the days of his life and knows the way you need to address and speak with him in marriage. Of course it’s great to have counselling, it helps stabilise the foundation, but you have a best friend who knows you both and gives you grace.
What about Counselling?
This is a great start and a phrase that helps you both discuss your family background and cultures, faith, finance,God’s structure on marriage and more. Remember this is only a foundation and you should continue to share and be open about what you discuss. You may not always agree or have the same upbringing so it is important to be honest and only then new solutions and reasoning will be implemented.
I personally advise for you have a little notebook to note the sessions, thoughts, questions you may have. So when you are married you always refer to it at times to refresh you.
Spend, spend, spend
With finance, all kinds of debts and balances need to be laid out on the table if it hasn’t already. Do you have a repayment plan in place now? If not you need to consider this so when both wages come together you know your personal income and expenditure and will be able to create one for your new home which may include priority bills i.e Rent/Mortgage, gas etc.
Please take into account what you spend on clothing,hair, beauty etc. because you may either need to adjust it later, it may not be a ‘on demand shop’ anymore, I know it may hurt. But the reality is, when you know your expenditures you can balance things properly.
You will find that even from now, you will learn more about the way your fiance manages money, thinks and even plans it. It may a surprise to you, but understand that some men have a map in their minds that link everything together. Today’s spending can be spared or broken down a bit more to cover something else. I am not talking about the wedding day but everything in general. Please don’t get offended with him, but begin to see things form his point of view and balance each other out. It is no longer ‘your way or the high way’ because your a bride to be. Remember, he is the one that will be taking care of you, so trust him also, not just your feelings.
Being engaged shouldn’t make you feel better than people who aren’t engaged yet. But really a time for you to work on yourself and tomorrow. A common mistake is to plan only for the function of the day, argue over the function of the day, the little details become magnified and planning becomes out of hand. But I encourage you to follow your heart and keep your eyes on tomorrow.
Keep your relationship with Jesus at the centre of everything, so that includes you listening to him, allowing the bible to correct you, instruct you,encourage you, guide you and better you. Keep yourself in prayer, commit all your ways and decisions to him for now and the future. Every character you know needs working on, should be at the feet of Jesus and you must allow him transform you into his image more and more.
Father, thank you for my engagement to (name). Lord I pray for more of your grace over us in this season. Help us to walk in your will and way for our future. Help us to follow you and listen to you. Guide us by your Holy Spirit. Guide our steps and help us fulfil your purpose for us. In Jesus Name.Amen